


Scars

by magsforya



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 04:52:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4551249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magsforya/pseuds/magsforya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris and Darren have only been dating for two months when Chris comes across a few alarming scars on Darren’s body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> Rebloggable on [Tumblr](http://magsforya.tumblr.com/post/126437081299/scars)

                “W-What’s…what’s this?” Chris asks, staring warily at Darren’s wrist.

                The skin there is much paler than the rest of his boyfriend’s body, an effect of almost constantly being covered by a watch.

                “Huh?” Darren asks.

                They were getting undressed so that they could take a shower together. It’s not the first time they’ve showered together, but considering their relationship isn’t older than two months, it’s still infrequently that they’re able to share that kind of intimacy.

                It’s exciting, this new relationship that Darren’s found himself in. It’s been a while since he’s been in a real relationship where there are feelings involved. It’s been even longer since that person wasn’t a friend first. He has a habit, Darren, of dating people he’s already become friends with. But Chris is different. They don’t even have any mutual friends.

                They met in line at the movie theatre. Darren was running late to meet his friends, and they were already inside the theatre while Darren was waiting in a ridiculously long line. Chris was there with a friend, right behind Darren, and they were fighting about which movie to see.

                All it took was Chris complimenting Darren’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles watch, and the both of them ditched their friends and saw a movie together. Afterwards they got milkshakes, traded phone numbers, and went their own ways. Temporarily, that is. Because after two weeks of constant text messaging and adding each other on Facebook, they started meeting up and hanging out—and, eventually, making out.

                It’s been really nice getting to know Chris and getting to like Chris, and being able to share information and stories about himself. Most of the people he dates already know _too_ much about him: all of his embarrassing stories, what he looked like as a child, what his relationship with his family is like, his dirty sense of humor. But with Chris he gets to decide what to share and when to share it. It’s rather refreshing.

                It’s also scary, because every time he has to reveal something new to Chris, he has to gauge Chris’ response. Will Chris think that fart jokes are funny or repulsive? Will he think I’m lame for being a mama’s boy? Will the fact that I almost never check my voicemail annoy him?

                Will he judge me for my past?

                “On your wrist,” Chris says, pointing a shaking finger in the general direction of Darren’s left hand.

                Darren lifts his wrist up to his face, turning it around and examining it. There’s nothing _new_ about it, nothing different. He squints, furrowing his eyebrows as he looks back up at Chris.

                Chris is shirtless just a foot in front of Darren near Darren’s nightstand.

                “The—the marks?” Chris says, voice pitched high in question.

                Darren turns his wrist around again, looking at the inside. There are several raised white lines, some of them a faint red on the edge. Probably only noticeable because the skin is pale, not having seen the sun in a while because of his watch.

                “Oh,” Darren says, understanding but still feeling a bit lost for words. “They’re not…new,” he tries to explain.

                “Are they…” Chris lets the rest of the sentence hang in the air.

                This is one of those downsides of dating someone new, someone you don’t know, someone who doesn’t know _you._

To anyone who knew Darren when he was a teenager, this isn’t surprising, nor worrying. To the few friends he met in college who had an eye for detail, it was something he was able to easily explain and brush away. And the majority of the time Darren is wearing a watch, so it’s not something he ever has to explain to anyone he’s met in the last five years. Most of the people he’s dated already sort of know the story behind the marks, having been Darren’s friend first and hearing semblances of the story either from Darren or his friends.

                “Cut marks?” Darren says, waiting for a reply or physical cue from Chris, who stands still, eyes large and cautious. “Yeah," Darren continues, still holding his wrist up near his chest. It’s breaching the gap between the two of them.

                “Are they…new?” Chris pauses, looking back and forth between Darren’s wrist and his face.

                “No, no,” Darren shakes his head.

                Chris nods slowly, albeit unbelievably.

                Darren rolls his eyes. This is unchartered territory; he hasn’t had to explain himself to anyone like this in years, and Chris is already spooked. He doesn’t want to perpetuate whatever it is that Chris is already thinking.

                “Listen,” Darren starts, “I know how this looks, but it’s not what you think. Or, I mean, it _is_ what you think. But it’s ten years old. I was an angsty fourteen year old with a penchant for writing depressing songs, and when my uncle died I sort of shut down for a while. My parents found out not even half a year later, I went to therapy, and that was the end of it.”

                Chris chews on his tongue, and Darren can tell that he’s taking it all in. He pushes his open wrist out for Chris to see, and Chris softly runs a finger over the faded marks. There aren’t many of them—most of them completely healed and went away. There are only three visible scars there; two of them are incredibly faded, but the third one is big and long, white and raised. Darren’s already gotten used to the fact that these scars will never fade completely. They will always be a physical part of him. It’s not scary to Darren, but he can understand why it’s frightening for Chris.

                “I know this seems scary,” Darren tries to normalize and empathize, to make Chris feel safe and understood. “But I honestly forget I even have these. It’s a reminder of a turbulent few months as a middle schooler. I feel so disconnected from it that I don’t even really think about it.”

                “Then why do you always wear a watch?” Chris asks, thumbing over the scariest scar.

                “I started wearing a watch to hide the scars at school and from my parents. But I really like wearing watches,” Darren smiles lightly.

                “I feel like I should be asking if this is something I should be worried about,” Chris continues.

                “I want to tell you that it’s not, but I feel like I can’t do that because you won’t believe me.”

                Chris begins to interject, but Darren continues on.

                “And I’m not upset. I mean, I can understand why you wouldn’t believe me. But I promise that this hasn’t been an issue since I was honestly fifteen. I’ve never had any urges to do it again. It’s not a secret, either. People know about it. My friends know about it. I wouldn’t be upset if you talked to them about it. It’s not a secret, it’s just something that doesn’t matter anymore. We all do stupid shit when we’re young. I just have scars to remind me of it.”

                Chris nods dumbly, releasing Darren’s wrist and crossing his own arms around his stomach as an awkward silence falls upon them.

                “You know you can ask any questions that you have, right?” Darren says, taking a small step towards Chris.

                “Yeah,” Chris says. “Sorry. I’m not upset. Just thinking. Processing. And I do believe you. It’s just scary to see. I’ve never… _seen_ that before.”

                Darren nods. “It can be scary when it’s not something you’re used to.”

                “I’ll get used to it,” Chris promises.

                “Yeah?” Darren says, hopeful.

                “Of course,” Chris replies with fervor. “I’m already over it.”

                He begins unbuttoning his pants before pausing and looking back up at Darren.

                “Okay, first can we hug though?”

                Darren steps forward and wraps Chris in a bear hug, squeezing him tight.

                “I swear I wasn’t hiding it from you,” he whispers into Chris’ ear. “It’s something I just honestly don’t think about. I forget about it most of the time.”

                “It’s not a problem. I was taken by surprise, but we’re good now.”

                “Shower?” Darren asks, stepping back.

                “Yes. You smell funky,” Chris smiles.

                Later that night when they’re in bed together and watching a movie, Chris idly grabs Darren’s naked wrist and brings it up to his lips, placing a soft kiss against his scars.

**Author's Note:**

> Rebloggable on [Tumblr](http://magsforya.tumblr.com/post/126437081299/scars)
> 
> Comments are always incredibly appreciated and leave me feeling happy and inspired!


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